I am always reading and hearing about how it important it is to “live in the now,” to “be present.” This is not something that comes naturally to me. I like to live partly in the now, and partly in the later.

This way of living is what helps me to keep things together, even with four children. Yes, part of me is here, listening to my 7-year-old tell me about number stories (that’s what they’re calling word problems now)–but part of me is keeping a mental list that stretches from what I need to do in 5 minutes (get the laundry before the buzzer drives me insane, bring that box to the basement on my way down to get the laundry, start the twins on a snack) to what I need to do in 50 years (should probably leave grandma’s jade jewelry set to a granddaughter).

This is also what lets me keep an optimistic outlook when something unexpected happens. Paul, who lives in the now to such an extent that he won’t put a twist-tie on the bread because he can’t envision a time when the bread will turn stale, is overwhelmed at the idea of this unexpected pregnancy. He is not thinking far enough ahead. He is thinking short-term at best: how will we handle so many little children, how will we afford so many diapers? Whereas I am happily dwelling in the future, where we will look back on this as the lovely, lovely surprise that brought us our darling child ____, who is getting married today and hasn’t it all gone so fast?