Last night we emailed our parents with the news that we were expecting again. This is my fourth time sharing news of this sort, and every single time it has made me feel like barfing.
The first time was most disillusioning, because I had thought that telling would be one of the most fun things about being pregnant—but then after I told, I had that barfy feeling and almost wished I weren’t pregnant. With subsequent pregnancies I’ve been more prepared for that feeling.
It’s such a relief to be getting the telling part over with.
OK, I know that you may (or may not) be freaked that I (peaple) am reading your archives. They are lovely and helpful and thought provoking and scary and emotional for me all at the same time.
I have real questions for you, though! I will just ask and you can decide to answer or not, OK?
Why was “telling” about your pregnancy (the first one) “the most disillusioning”… Why have you had such bad, barfy experiences?
Shoaddict- No, I love it! It’s fun!
Oh! About telling: it’s just that I thought it would be SO EXCITING to tell, and I thought it would be one of the MOST FUN parts of the pregnancy–and it IS for a lot of people, but it turns out I don’t enjoy the sudden rush of attention in my direction, and I don’t like the drama of “clearing the throat then delivering the news.”
So the first time was the worst, because I thought it would be great but then found I didn’t like it. Subsequent tellings were better because I KNEW I didn’t enjoy it, so I wasn’t expecting it to be fun. It makes me feel queasy, and then I have a “post-Christmas let-down”-type feeling after I’ve told.
P.s. But it’s silly, since everyone always greets the news with happiness. I mean, it’s not like people say bad things! It’s just a center-of-attention problem or something.
My first telling was a bit of a let-down as well. My mom had been wanting grandkids for YEARS and so I thought it would be fun to tell her. She checks her email hundreds of times a day, so around dinner time I sent a message with the subject line “ETA” and the body of the message “March 28, 2006”. I was positive shed figure it out immediately and that the phone would ring within minutes. 2 hours later…nothing. I ended up having to phone to tell her to check her darn email. Didn’t work as planned.
We also didn’t want to tell anyone else right away, but she couldn’t keep a secret. So for the second child, we decided we wouldn’t tell ANYONE until 13-14 weeks. But then I got violently brutally sick and couldn’t be treated or take any drugs b/c of the pregnancy. Mom nagged & nagged & shrieked at me to take something or go to the doctor until I just snapped at her and shouted “I’M PREGNANT SO I CAN’T”. Not really the heartwarming moment I’d envisioned. (We were talking this week about that, actually, and she doesn’t even remember that, so whew! That’s good!)