Have any of you ever been tempted to say something less than fully supportive to your chatty, communicative 5-year-old? Something along the lines of “Shut up, shut UP, SHUT UPPPPPPPPPPP!” Just me, then?

I feel like my mind is a bucket, and it can only hold so much before it starts spilling all over the place, causing flooding and water damage and insurance claims that never get settled satisfactorily. I have so many things I’m thinking about and keeping track of, it’s like I’m balancing on a high wire. Any additional input is like a little shove. A constant stream of chatter is like getting poked with a stick again and again and again and again.

I try to stop what I’m doing and FOCUS. I know I should be engaging in careful, loving listening. I should be giving my whole attention. I know I should be valuing these conversations, setting them aside for the days when I’m begging my sullen, silent teenager to say even a single word to me other than a grunt.

I can’t, though. I can’t. It’s one thing if it’s one of those cute things you can write down in the journal: William to Robert, in a superior tone of voice, “Things that live in the water aren’t animals. They’re INSECTS.” It’s another thing entirely when it’s a relentless monologue: “Mommy, I’m up here. I see an ant down there! Look at this piece of paper, it’s so paper! Paper paper paper paper paper. POW! Pow pow pow, I got you, baby Edward! Look, Mommy, I got baby Edward. Mommy, can you get this knot out? Can you make a new knot, EXACTLY in the middle? I want it in the middle. Middle middle middle, a knot in the middle. There’s that ant! A, B, C, one, two, three! Ding, dong, baby! Ding, dong, baby! Ding, baby, dong, baby! Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong! My teeth are chilly! Nyuh nyuh nyuh nyuh. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy! I see another ant.”

And so on. Let’s say this has gone on for half an hour. Let’s say I’ve asked him nicely to go find something to do, to give me a minute to rest my ears, to hang on for a second while I finish this one thing I’m trying to remember to put on the shopping list….oh no, I’ve forgotten it. NOW may I use “shut up”? DANG IT. Can I get earplugs, then? NO? You are so strict.