I’ll tell you this, I’m not doing those dishes. Paul and I, we have a deal: we each do our own dishes, plus each person does the dishes created by any meal he or she prepares for the children. This comes out pretty even.
Here’s what lights me: when he leaves his own dishes and the kids’ dishes from the night before, and skys off to work. I have to look at those dishes all day, thinking about the possibilities. I could do them and end the issue–except that I’ve learned that if I give Paul an inch, the next day he’ll take the same inch and those dishes will be left there again. Plus, I’d feel like a patsy.
I could leave them there for him, but then I have to see them there, all messy and bad-housewifey in the sink, reminding me every time I’m in the kitchen that I have an inconsiderate husband who is sitting in his totally clean office (cleaned by an actual maid) while I languish in squalor. And then he’ll do them that evening, and I’ll sit there thinking, “Since it takes the SAME AMOUNT OF TIME EITHER WAY, why couldn’t you have done that LAST NIGHT?” And he will not sway under the force of my thoughts, but will hum a tune as he dries his hands.
Third possibility is today’s favorite: fling them out the window to shatter on the driveway below. No, I’m not going to do that: they’d just sit there until I cleaned them up.
I enjoyed your holding it together blog and I hope you don’t mind me making another comment because you have sparked a lot of memories from the past. My wife and I always argued about these same things and you know you are probably right about what you said taking the same amount of time, but they are only dishes and you have a lot of work on your hands with kids so as long as they get done does it really matter, as long as he is helping out, a lot of men would not help out in areas like these, so give him some credit as maybe he does not understand your frustration as some of these things are just not an issue with us men, but they did get done, so enjoy your family, I hope I did not offend you, our house was always in shambles when they were small, we cleaned when we could together, just a thought, and glad you didn’t throw them all out the window,
It is so good to know that ours isn’t the only house “in shambles”–and that’s a great word for it!